Tonight I hate...

Dear Ryan...

          Tonight I hate you.

          I think about where we are now versus where we were a year ago.  A year ago, I'm not sure if we were speaking to each other, but at least I knew why.  A year ago, the wound was still fresh, and I kept picking at the scab hoping that it would be fake.  A year ago I hated you, but not like I do now; not like this.  

They say love is patient and kind.  I say love is the ultimate contradiction.  To love something is to set it free; Yet, to love is to destroy.  To love is to protect and preserve, but only those we truly love have the power to hurt us.  

So, when I tell you that I hate you, it is only because I'm still in love with you...the ultimate contradiction.  And I don't know what to do about it.

Love,

~E